No.

Judy Berman at Broadsheet thinks that Tina Fey should have been named Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive.

I guess we can’t have everything, though, because the magazine has announced that Halle Berry is its 2008 pick. Yawn. Berry is undoubtedly a great-looking woman and a fantastic actress, but Esquire’s choice is so obvious it’s almost redundant. Considering all the noise the news media has made about Palin’s attractiveness, the so-called VPILF’s doppelganger could have been the perfect cover girl.

Argh! The Halle Berry-is-a-good-actress meme is like the Obama-is-a-Muslim meme: it persists despite plenty of available evidence to the contrary.

Tagged:

42 thoughts on “No.

  1. rakia October 8, 2008 at 11:35 am Reply

    Your constant hateration on Halle continues to astound me.

    Don’t know if I’d of put her at #1 on the list this year, but she’s up there. Shoot, Halle’s been holding it down since, like, ’94. She’s been fine for so long that people just aren’t taken by it anymore.

  2. bfnh October 8, 2008 at 11:37 am Reply

    who wants to have sex w/tina fey? i’m tired of halle bein’ the sole attractive black woman, but tina fey? let’s not be silly.

  3. Grump October 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm Reply

    Tina Fey as Sarah Palin probably would not have mixed well with Esquire’s endorsement of Obama that was published in this same issue. Actually, Halle has been holding since ’92(Boomerang)!!!!

  4. shani-o October 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm Reply

    “She’s been fine for so long that people just aren’t taken by it anymore.”

    Rakia, I think that’s it for me. Besides, is Halle “sexy” or is she “beautiful”? I’d say the latter. But I’m not Esquire’s target audience…

  5. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm Reply

    Shani: I COMPLETELY agree. I don’t think Halle Berry is sexy so much as really, really pretty.

  6. quadmoniker October 8, 2008 at 12:24 pm Reply

    Shani: I agree with you. I think she’s pretty, but she lacks important things, like personality, that would change her from objectively beautiful to someone you’d actually want to jump on.

  7. Grump October 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm Reply

    Shani: can’t a person be both sexy AND beautiful?

  8. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 12:55 pm Reply

    Grump: Not to speak for shani, but yeah. Of course. But Halle Berry has no heat. She’s not funny or toweringly smart or any of those other things that make people sexy. She’s really pretty and really boring.

    Hell, she’s not even that good at her job.

  9. blackink October 8, 2008 at 1:07 pm Reply

    I’m gonna be the contrarian here but I have to go on record as saying Halle is sexy, pretty, beautiful, fine, etc. In some ways, these are distinctions without much difference.

    And she’s out of the box for Esquire because, to the best of my knowledge, they’ve never had a sister tabbed for the honor. Tina Fey is cute and all but, uh, we’re talking D-League to an NBA All-Star.

    Btw, Halle can flex some acting chops sometimes. Ya’ll didn’t see “Jungle Fever” and “Boomerang”?

  10. shani-o October 8, 2008 at 1:07 pm Reply

    Grump: Yeah, but Halle ain’t the one. 🙂

    G.D. “But Halle Berry has no heat.”

    Ding ding ding!

    QM: “I think she’s pretty, but she lacks important things, like personality, that would change her from objectively beautiful to someone you’d actually want to jump on.”

    Exactly. All I want out of my sexiest men and women alive: a desire to jump on them.

  11. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 1:25 pm Reply

    blackink: I’m so glad you brought up “Jungle Fever.” Halle Berry’s all-purpose blaccent is the thing that annoys me the most.

    Slave trynna pass? (“Queen.”)Default Blaccent.

    Crack addict? (“Jungle Fever,” “Losing Isaiah.”) The same blaccent.

    Whatever she was supposed to be in “Bulworth”? THE SAME ONE.

    I think a lot of people have made her into this avatar for black women in Hollywood, which is problematic on a lot of levels. But it seems to color people’s perceptions of her, and maybe inflates folks’ opinions of her abilities.

  12. rakia October 8, 2008 at 1:32 pm Reply

    G.D.: have you ever liked her in a role?

  13. ladyfresshh October 8, 2008 at 1:36 pm Reply

    sorry g.d. but she is

    it doesn’t say sexiest actress alive, nor comedian, nor writer
    nor any other qualifications are in the title except for woman
    note this is esquire’s opinion, a male magazine’s viewpoint on womankind, so it’s not that serious

    i agree that they could have found another black woman celebrity but halle is a mainstay, a surefire winner in magazine sales so it’s an old card trick but a good one

  14. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 1:38 pm Reply

    rakia: i’ve never seen her be so good that a movie wouldn’t work without her. she’s passable most of the time, and pretty bad the rest.

    part of that could be the parts she takes. it’s not like she’s been in a lot of good movies.

  15. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 1:43 pm Reply

    LF: i frankly don’t care who ‘wins’ the dumb (and sorta sexist) title. I was just taking issue with the notion that she was an ‘outstanding actress.’

  16. ladyfresshh October 8, 2008 at 1:47 pm Reply

    well…she is an oscar winner…

    *ducks & runs*

  17. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 1:49 pm Reply

    lf: so is Renee Zellweger.

  18. blackink October 8, 2008 at 1:53 pm Reply

    Hey G.D., I feel you and I’m not gonna argue about “Losing Isaiah, “BAPS, “Strictly Business,” or another one of those throwaway films.

    She’s definitely been in a few clunkers – hey, black actresses gotta eat too. And Halle is not gonna make anyone forget about Angela Bassett or, hell, even Lisa Nicole Carson.

    But if a key qualification for sexiness is “a desire to jump on them,” then she definitely meets my standard. Not to mention, she’s pulled off a few successful movie productions and has been decent in a handful of films.

  19. rakia October 8, 2008 at 2:13 pm Reply

    Eh, I think Halle doesn’t have a rawness about her that a lot of men find sexy in other, less beautiful women. It’s as if she’s too precious or delicate to take to bed. I, for one, find her both sexy and beautiful. But then again, I’m not a man.

    Re: Halle’s acting: I think it’s getting a bad rap here because she doesn’t have many peers at her level and y’all hate that of all the women to “make it,” Halle’s become the chosen one.

    I mean really, G.D., can you honestly say you’re being totally objective? That you’re not viewing her through the “Why-Halle-and-not-Angela-or-Regina-or-Nia-or-whoever” filter? ‘Cause it’d be hard for anyone to be likable under those circumstances.

  20. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 2:24 pm Reply

    rakia: what’s ‘totally objective’ when it comes to taste?

    and it seems like you’re saying that I can’t find Halle Berry a middling, unimpressive actress without something informing that conclusion other than her middling, unimpressive acting.

    you know, because “I’m just hating.”

  21. shani-o October 8, 2008 at 2:31 pm Reply

    How could it possibly be objective, Rakia?

    And are you saying, objectively, that Halle is “good,” or that she’s “not that bad.”

  22. quadmoniker October 8, 2008 at 2:47 pm Reply

    Halle Berry wasn’t even a good Storm.

  23. rakia October 8, 2008 at 2:56 pm Reply

    “and it seems like you’re saying that I can’t find Halle Berry a middling, unimpressive actress without something informing that conclusion other than her middling, unimpressive acting. you know, because ‘I’m just hating.'”

    That’s precisely what I’m getting at.

  24. rakia October 8, 2008 at 2:58 pm Reply

    Note: that’s why I asked you instead of assumed.

    QM: Was she a bad actress in Storm or was she miscast? (I thought they should’ve picked someone like a younger Iman.)

  25. quadmoniker October 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm Reply

    If by miscast you mean she couldn’t pull it off, then yes. But I think she looked the part, she just didn’t act the part.

  26. G.D. October 8, 2008 at 3:04 pm Reply

    rakia: “i’m just a hater.”

    *rolls eyes*

    i’m sorry you made a wrong turn. Bossip is thattaway…

  27. rakia October 8, 2008 at 3:17 pm Reply

    LOL!

    I’m not even that big a Halle fan. I just find you guys’ vitriolic dislike of her remarkable.

  28. ladyfresshh October 8, 2008 at 3:23 pm Reply

    g.d.: …and gwyneth paltrow…lets not quibble…
    oh wait too late

    btw i’d like it noted i have little opinion on her acting skills
    i merely defended her right to be on a ‘sexiest woman’ esquire cover cause many, though not g.d., find her sexy and attractive, though not many folks in here…sheesh the whoopi blog was easier go figure *goes and hides in there*

  29. rakia October 8, 2008 at 3:29 pm Reply

    LF: I’m going to go hide with you. It’s brutal in here, dude.

  30. LH October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm Reply

    I’ve yet to grasp what makes Halle Berry sexy, although I understand why some people say she is. She’s pretty, even beautiful, but not sexy.

    I think Tina Fey is at least as sexy as Berry (which is to say that she isn’t), but overall, I’d give the nod to Nia Long, Charlize Theron, Eva Longoria and Eva Mendes long before I’d consider Berry.

  31. robynj October 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm Reply

    Rakia: I don’t think anyone dislikes Halle. There isn’t much to actually dislike — which is sorta the point.

  32. DNLee October 8, 2008 at 3:48 pm Reply

    and this is after the baby and over age 40. I like that.

  33. e. October 8, 2008 at 4:16 pm Reply

    omg i just died. gd you kill me with all this halle hating. i love ti!

  34. shani-o October 8, 2008 at 4:20 pm Reply

    Mk, guys. I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

    Halle Berry is a lovely woman who is a consistently mediocre actress.

    Who’s going to argue with that??

  35. LH October 8, 2008 at 4:41 pm Reply

    I don’t understand why her lack of ability as an actress matters in a discussion about her looks. It’s like sexism in reverse.

  36. quadmoniker October 8, 2008 at 4:49 pm Reply

    L.H.: Because this is what Judy Berman said: Berry is undoubtedly a great-looking woman and a fantastic actress,

  37. LH October 8, 2008 at 5:42 pm Reply

    quadmoniker: I got that part (I read the piece), but what I’m getting at is this: Why would Berman or anyone else would make Berry’s acting skills part of a discussion about her looks?

  38. universeexpanding October 8, 2008 at 7:02 pm Reply

    I think robyn hit the nail on the head. There isn’t much to like or dislike. She’s very pretty, poised and looks great especially considering that she’s over 40 and just had a baby. But sexy? Nah son. Halle Berry doesn’t exude sexuality even when she’s trying to (see Swordfish). As for the acting, she’s *aight* but I’ve never been moved by Halle in a role, and I tear up during Lifetime Channel movies. There’s something blah about her.

  39. ladyfresshh October 8, 2008 at 9:24 pm Reply

    UE: i’d like to point out the james bond bikini coming out of the water scene as a strong point of contention as well with regards to the sexiest/sexy/sexism …*ahem*… argument

    I would also like to state for the record that this arguing FOR halle places me in a most awkward position as i’m a bit lukewarm on the woman but her looks have been successfully cashed in on for, oh, almost two decades now

    but i digress let me tow the party line at this point
    grr halle
    No. (c) G.D.

  40. universeexpanding October 8, 2008 at 10:06 pm Reply

    LF: Lol. We don’t hate her…we just aren’t crazy about her. She’s pretty but I don’t think she’s hot. Even in James Bond. But she will continue to sell mascara/foundation/perfume or whatever her face is tacked to, because yes, she’s attractive. You know you has a similar effect on me? Beyonce. That one may be combination of the media machine insisting I must find her sexy and her overexposure, but there’s also something about her that makes me think despite all the gyrating/booty popping/ stiletto strutting/ weave flinging “Sasha” persona she’s got going on she’s probably really tame in person – boring even. Of course I’m not going to pretend I’m even trying to be objective with this – Beyonce’s interviews have solidified her status in the “airhead” category in my brain which diminishes her sex appeal, at least for me.

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