Um. What?

The perpetually wrong Keith Josef Adkins:

I said this last week and I’ll say it again:  women and others should be trying to school other women about domestic abuse.  We spend way too much time hanging men in trees; but where’s the urgent advocacy to educate women?  You know, to point out their patterns in this abuse game?  To shake them out of the victim daze and put them into action toward recovery?   The media and others should have been using this time to open that wound called “Women in Abuse” instead of throwing hate darts at Chris Brown 24-7.  But nobody’s interested in that.  Cut to:  Rihanna and her boy Chris schmoozing it up at Sean Combs’ mansion by the sea.

Does anyone have a clue what your boy is talking about? Because a quick Google search would bring up article after article and blog post after blog post trying to make this whole sad affair a teachable moment on domestic violence.

I wasn’t gonna get into the “hanging men in trees”/”throwing hate darts” bit, but I stumbled upon this quote over at Racialicious from Tricia Rose.

The pressure young black women feel to defend black men against racist attacks, even at their own expense, is a new variation on the centuries old standard for black women’s race loyalty. This community wide standard – which asks women to take the hit (metaphorically and literally), to be content with dynamics in which they sacrifice themselves and care for others’ interests over their own – mimics the terms of an abusive relationship. As bell hooks has pointedly reminded us, although we should avoid demonizing black males “[b]lack females must not be duped into supporting shit that hurts us under the guise of standing beside our men. If black men are betraying us through acts of male violence, we save ourselves and the race by resisting.”

Say word.

4 thoughts on “Um. What?

  1. Keith Josef Adkins March 2, 2009 at 3:24 pm Reply

    Perpetually wrong? Wow.

    I don’t see how asking readers to bring the same heat and urgency to educating and advocating for women of abuse as being wrong. My posts were a reaction to the larger reading community and not thought-provokers like Racialicious. I was simply trying to reach the “unsaved” and not the converted. Maybe I should have linked to Racialicious in order to make a stronger point.

    Perpetually wrong,

    Keith Josef Adkins
    On the Dig

    • ladyfresshh March 3, 2009 at 12:11 pm Reply

      The heat and urgency is already there in books, magazine articles, televisions specials, advocacy programs and finally laws have been made. Frankly the ‘you can bring a horse to water but you can’t make them drink’ term comes to mind at this point on the victim’s side.

      Which leaves the other half of the equation since it does take two to tango as i seem to be constantly be reminded of this considering the recent protests over chris’s public ‘treatment’ in blog after blog. Frankly nothing has happened to the boy besides harsh words. The balking and wincing over those words leads me to believe this issue hits very close to home for many who cannot face the reality of the incident and instead want even more attention placed on the person abused. I find it odd.

  2. Keith Josef Adkins March 3, 2009 at 4:00 pm Reply

    I find it odd that you think I’m saying Chris Brown is being treated with kid gloves and Rihanna, the abused, is being bashed somehow. And this is the issue: for some reason people rather pick through blogs and posts and decide who’s on whose side rather than having a discussion about domestic abuse (from both angles). I agree with you—there are countless articles, laws, etc that help empower women in these situations. I never said the opposite. I was just feeling (on the day of my original post) there were countless posts and comments about how Chris Brown is a horrid person. And yes, there’s plenty of truth to that, but I was hoping to see more focused advocacy (on that day) for women.

    • quadmoniker March 3, 2009 at 5:02 pm Reply

      I think that philosophy fails when you look at the dynamic of the abusers/abused. These things don’t successfully become “teachable moments” because abusers are so good at convincing the abused that they’re not being abused at all, or that their relationship and their case is different. Outside such a relationship, it’s easy to know what abuse is. Inside, it doesn’t matter what you’ve seen someone else go through before.

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