Um. Okay, Then.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this — I sure as hell don’t agree with anything in this Essence-ass claptrap — but it’s making the rounds and one of you smart people probably has an interesting take on it. She’s promoting her book, Stilettos in the Kitchen, which sounds like a cookbook spliced with The Rules. (Sample chapter title: “Put the Pole in the Kitchen.”)

(I can’t front, tho: this woman in stilettos in my kitchen? *swallows hard* Easy, reptilian brain.)

14 thoughts on “Um. Okay, Then.

  1. lemu July 15, 2009 at 2:23 pm Reply

    yea, despite her rants about men, she is definitely welcome to make me a turkey sandwich anyday.

    She had me at sandwich –

  2. t.o.a n. July 15, 2009 at 3:03 pm Reply

    Well, all I know is that this lady is a true hustla … from model to make up artist to direct sales skin care professional to lifestyle coach to author. Those kinds of moves take skill.

  3. -k- July 15, 2009 at 5:05 pm Reply


    • G.D. July 15, 2009 at 5:05 pm Reply


      (elaborate, tho.)

      • -k- July 15, 2009 at 5:24 pm Reply

        about how hot she is, or about the utterly failed attempt at profundity?

        i mean, we all know at least one woman who has her shit five kinds of together and is a) dating someone who.. doesn’t, or b) perpetually single. and vice versa. the kind of link that she’s trying to establish doesn’t really exist.

        anybody who showed up to at least one meeting of a freshman women’s studies class could probably fill in the rest of the ‘what’s wrong with this picture’ blanks.

        • G.D. July 15, 2009 at 5:25 pm Reply

          okay. now talk about how hot she is.

          • -k- July 15, 2009 at 5:28 pm Reply


          • blackink July 15, 2009 at 6:36 pm Reply

            If you don’t -k-, we will. 😉

  4. Spaceman's Hairdo July 15, 2009 at 6:10 pm Reply

    Just throw out the checklists and connect. I know that sounds nebulous. But how did we connect before there were 24-hour Finesses and investment bankers and eHarmony? An honest connection is what sustains a relationship. Find that first. I think both men and women put too much onus on the periphery instead of what biologically links us. Oh, and yeah, she’s hot.

  5. belleisa July 16, 2009 at 8:45 am Reply

    She is extremely beautiful.

    Her type of business and marketing savvy is the holy grail these days: she’s trying to make herself into a brand, which is fine. I meet a lot of people in NYC who are just like her. Keep fit and trim, stay beautiful, though she doesn’t have to try, and you can be just like me!

    Encouraging women to be the best they can be is fabulous. Encouraging women to be the best they can be in order to attract a man–not fabulous. As someone already said, there are a ton of women just like her who are single. These types of Essence-like pronouncements play on women’s fear of being alone.

    In fact, sometimes the more desirable a woman is perceived to be the greater the opportunity for her to meet very undesirable partners.

    Some of her other You Tube videos are extremely shallow. If that’s part of the marketing act, she’s a genius. If it’s not, she’s just shallow. And she failed to come to terms with her own advantages as a gorgeous girl.

    • shani-o July 16, 2009 at 1:45 pm Reply

      I couldn’t agree with you more.

      I wish there was a way to de-socialize women out of taking care of themselves in order to attract a man. That way there wouldn’t be the stereotype of women ‘letting themselves go’ after ‘landing’ him, and women could focus more on satisfying themselves.

      • Spaceman's Hairdo July 16, 2009 at 2:08 pm Reply

        You also cannot forget the dynamic of the woman who is taking care of herself (job, money, own place, own car, and all that jazz) and how this intimidates potential suitors. Some men feel like if thy are not bringing more than what the woman already possesses to the table than they are somehow inferior. We love a good damsel in distress.

      • ladyfresh July 16, 2009 at 3:37 pm Reply

        I wish there was a way to de-socialize women out of taking care of themselves in order to attract a man.

        or the perception at least

        i got my nails done yesterday(for free whoot!) in this nice red color
        and …
        yes i was waiting for the ‘oh hot date’ comments of today in the office,
        i managed to offset that with this HUGE faux pearl ring i got (distract distract)

        but the fact that i anticipated(correctly…oddly and sadly enough) and felt the need to prep for the reaction is disturbing

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