Craigslist + Job Searching in a Small City = :(

Ugh.

So if you pay attention to the ridiculousness that goes on around here, I appreciate you.  I also assume that you know that I moved outta Philly back home to Louisville, Kentucky, and that I’m jobless as a motherfreaker right now.  Been job searching in the daytime with a flashlight and in the night time with a… flashlight (sometimes my metaphors don’t work all the way right) and coming up empty handed.

Now back in Philly, I had a GREAT job.  OMG.  Best job ever in the world in the history of life.  I found it via Craigslist.  I also think I found my apartment via Craigslist when I first got to the city.  I thought it was so cool, man.. so many people used it, and it made life really convenient.  Shopping, selling, searching, Craigslist was *it*.

So I get home and when I start my search, I immediately head to Craigslist.  Not as much going on for Louisville’s Craigslist as there is for Philly’s, but there were some really good looking jobs up there!  I felt confident that I, with all my talent, charms, and wit, wouldn’t be without a job long.

FOUR WEEKS LATER.  I am still living in my mama’s attic watching TV court shows in my sweats all day.  WTF, Craigslist!??!

The problem is that Craigslist here just doesn’t get as much play, which is fine.  But the REAL problem is that most of the positions that get put up there are scams, people who try to weasel you out of your contact information so they can send you information on shit you don’t want any damn information about.  It’s a really, really cruel thing to do in this day and age.. days and days and days of searching pass quietly without so much as an email or call to say ‘we don’t want your black ass working for us,’ and finally you get an email expressing interest.  You get all excited only to find that you’re then asked about your interest in taking online classes at the University of Phoenix.  Rage, anger, and considerable waves of curse words follow immediately after.

After awhile it gets pretty easy to spot them.  Like this one?  The misplaced question mark gives it away… I’ve noticed that a lot of good sounding leads that actually lead nowhere had similarly placed question marks.  And a quick google of a line or two of the text in these ads shows that the same ad has been placed in the Craigslistings in other cities.  Or they’ll have a link to some shady looking bogus website in the body of the ad.  Or they’ll offer good money for a part time job in which telecommuting is okay, aka – they’re too good to be true.  I’d gotten good at dodging them, but I slipped up one day last week and fell for the okie doke, replying to one such ad.  I got this in response the next day:

Hello Tracy

Thank you for your interest. At the moment, we have received lots
of interested parties.
Next step is required for all candidates.
Click on the link: www.jobswewant.info
Fill in your name and email so we can contact you for an interview.
You will be notified within 48 hours.

Thank You,
Cindy

The BS link gave it away instantly.  I didn’t even have to go to the site to know it was a scam, but I did, and was met with some work from home crap.  Though I knew it was probably sent by a bot and any response I sent would go unanswered, I decided to reply anyway.  Cause I was pissed off and had something to say.  So, I sent this:

Dear Cindy:

There must be some mistake.  I am interested in the position you listed regarding being a dental assistant in downtown Louisville, KY, not to have my time wasted by some spamming work-from-home scam.  I’m sure this is just a mistake though, and I know this because with a name like Cindy, you’d never do something so malicious as raising the hopes of someone looking for a job in this economy, when it is almost impossible to so much as get an interview, just so that you can send out some information about career training at DeVry or new super improved Snuggies or something.  You’re a good person, Cindy!  I’m sure you already know this, but your name is a diminutive form of the name Cynthia, which is a Latinized version of the Greek name Kynthia, which means “woman from Kynthos.” MountKynthos is the mountain on which the goddess of the Moon, Artemis, was born.  See?  By name, you are associated with both the moon and a mountain!  Moons and mountains are very regal, constant things.  When you see the moon or a mountain, you look at them and say: hey.  That’s a moon/mountain.  Neither of them could mislead you if they wanted to.  Do you know how foolish the moon would look dressed in a tomato costume, trying to convince people that it was a tomato?  It would look pretty foolish.  Or can you imagine a mountain dressed as Jack Nicholson, running around yelling ‘HEEEERE’S JOHNNY!’  Ridiculous!  Also, mountains can’t even talk.  So it’d be REALLY extra ridiculous due to that alone.

Anyway, Cindy, you didn’t mean to send me to this ridiculous www.jobswewant.info site and prey on my pesky need to make money with which to eat and live and such things in a time when doing things like eating and living is nearly impossible for some.  You’re too constant and regal and mountainous to do that.  Kindly direct me to valid instructions on how to continue to pursue the dental assistant job.  I appreciate it!  May God bless your truthful, honest soul!

Sincerely,
Brokey Boomeisha-Ann McPoverty

No response.  But I felt a little better.

11 thoughts on “Craigslist + Job Searching in a Small City = :(

  1. Scipio Africanus August 12, 2009 at 11:52 am Reply

    When they arrest you for finally murdering Cynthia, make sure this post is *off* the internets.

  2. bitchphd August 12, 2009 at 11:57 am Reply

    CL in small towns (and I’m in a place a lot smaller than Louisville) sucks for pretty much anything except garage sales and finding people to do odd jobs. It’s really frustrating.

    • LupinePredator August 19, 2009 at 2:05 am Reply

      I live in a TINY place, but you can also find a hooker on CL in my town. There was a big ruckus about it not long ago. I figure, hey – a girl has to uhm… Right?

  3. -k- August 12, 2009 at 6:50 pm Reply

    (First.. when did you move back to Kentucky? I am woefully underinformed. And HELLO!)

    I just moved and went through this big time selling some furniture. Also pretty easy to spot- asking if “the item”, singular, was still for sale, when there were multiple pieces. But I did fall for it the first couple of times, and was asked for the same sort of personal information (to make out the cashier’s check, of course), at which point- game over. I was getting several of these a day, though, all with the same jacked up telltale syntax. One night one came through and I invited the author to, uh, do something vulgar to him or herself, and promptly received an enthusiastic reply about proceeding to the next step with the furniture sale.

    I felt better at the time, but next to this artfully crafted piece of prose, I feel.. small. My hat is off to you.

    • G.D. August 13, 2009 at 1:21 am Reply

      i thought i told you about her moving back the last time we hung out?

  4. cindylu August 13, 2009 at 3:36 pm Reply

    Yes, we women named Cynthia would never do such a rotten thing.

    • ladyfresh August 19, 2009 at 10:37 am Reply

      LOL

  5. Brandi August 18, 2009 at 8:41 pm Reply

    My sentiments exactly!

  6. LupinePredator August 19, 2009 at 2:03 am Reply

    At the risk of sounding as though I’m making light of your situation – which I am not, being in rather dire financial straits myself – you are a complete and utter riot! I wish that I’d had the quickness of wit to come up with something like this for some of the scams that have my way of late.

  7. Buddy September 13, 2009 at 7:31 am Reply

    I had the very same experience – from Cindy. In fact I often get such e-mail responses to applications I sent to Craig’s List ads. What I want to tell them is much simpler and more direct:

    Dear Cindy:

    You should be quartered by horses in the town square. I’ll charge admission and make so much money that I will not have to look at another Craig’s List ad for the rest of my life.

    Sincerely,

    Buddy

  8. Kassy September 15, 2009 at 11:41 am Reply

    I had the same answer from a no last name “cindy” I live i salt lake city, when they dont mention a company name, or a company email address, or a phone number, you know something is up, and when i went to that webite, it was clear

    Thank you for your interest. At the moment, we have received lots
    of interested parties.
    Next step is required for all candidates.
    Click here: http://www.jobswewant.com
    Fill in the details. You will be notified within 48 hours.

    Thank You,
    Cindy
    HR Manager

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